No one looks forward to difficult conversations. Tough discussions can bring up negative emotions, divide teams, or produce unfortunate consequences. However, these conversations—including negotiating a promotion or addressing long-running conflicts with a peer—are often the most important ones to have. Avoiding difficult interactions often results in continued toxic behavior and resentment. Only by tackling difficult conversations head-on can one enjoy the positive and satisfying results of improving a working environment, helping individuals grow, and removing any remaining barriers to team alignment and productivity.
Last Wednesday, I hosted the Novarica Women’s Network’s seventh Virtual Meeting on negotiating and navigating difficult conversations. Our panelists, F&G COO Bonnie Wasgatt, Glatfelter CIO and VP Larissa Tosch, and Pennsylvania Lumbermens Mutual VP Erin Selfe, shared their professional experiences negotiating higher salaries, asking for promotions, and managing tough conversations with bosses, peers, and direct reports. I’ve included some key lessons and advice below.
Emotional intelligence is the key to relationship management and is a useful tool for negotiations and challenging discussions.
The ability to recognize, understand, and manage our and others’ emotions can help maintain relationships through even the most uncomfortable situations. When engaging in a difficult conversation, recognize that you both have a stake (personal or professional) in the outcome of this conversation.
Carefully manage your facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice when speaking. Present yourself as calm and open to hearing out the other party. When listening to someone else, give that person your full and undivided attention. Observe and interpret their facial expressions, body language, and tone. The ability to read someone else’s emotions can help shape how you approach a difficult conversation and may help you reach a satisfactory resolution.
The ability to project self-confidence and skillfully guide the conversation can lead to successful discussions and negotiations.
Self-confidence comes more easily to some than others. However, our panelists all agreed that adequate preparation before negotiations or tough conversations is critical to exuding self-confidence. Preparation can take many forms: for some, it may include drafting a proposed win-win solution or writing a list of what you need to get, should get, or would like to get out of the conversation. Even the most nervous speaker will come across as collected and self-assured with enough preparation, setting the stage for a smooth and productive negotiation.
Going into a conversation with knowledge of what you want to accomplish and a high-level understanding of what the other party expects, wants, considers a dealbreaker, or is flexible on can help you guide the conversation in the direction you want. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can help you reframe your point of view in a way that the other person can understand and perhaps even agree with.
Successfully initiating a raise or promotion negotiation requires laying some groundwork, adequate pre-meeting preparation, and an ability to remain objective and calm in the face of opposition.
In the weeks and months leading up to a raise or promotion negotiation, do what you can to make sure your accomplishments and milestones are top-of-mind for your boss. Schedule regular one-on-ones with your direct supervisor and highlight your most recent “wins” and achievements. Negotiations tend to go smoother when the decision-maker does not need to think too hard or too far back to remember your many contributions to the team and company.
Before entering a negotiation, make sure you’re clear on what you’re asking for and do your homework. Are you asking for a raise or a promotion? Be ready to approach each of these conversations differently. Promotions are often based on the availability of certain roles/titles/positions and can only occur under specific circumstances. Salary negotiations often don’t depend on other individuals holding (or not holding) certain titles.
Be prepared to support your ask with evidence, especially in the face of opposition. Point to a list of your key achievements and contributions and paint a picture of what you’ll contribute to the company in your new role. Call upon data on industry salary averages (given your experience and location) or typical timelines for promotions. Conversations about raises and promotions may trigger certain emotions, so it’s essential to remain calm and objective throughout the interaction. Maintaining composure keeps the door open to future follow-ups, a better understanding of what is expected of you, and additional rounds of negotiation, which may ultimately result in your ideal outcome.
The next Novarica Women’s Network Virtual Meeting will take place on November 18, 2020, at 11 AM ET on the topic of “Female InsureTech Leaders.” Speakers include Ometry’s CEO and Founder Carey Nadeau, Benekiva’s Co-Founder and Chief Product Officer Bobbie Shrivastav, Luminant Analytics’ CEO and Founder Renu Ann Joseph, Friendly’s Founder and CEO Natasha Alexeeva, and Novarica’s Vice President of Research and Consulting Deb Zawisza.
More information is available at https://novarica.com/womensnetwork.
Add new comment